We had a lunch date lined up with friends at The Crown in Rolleston, Nottinghamshire — and we were pretty excited. The last time we visited (back when it was called The Vineyard and served unexpectedly brilliant tapas), the food had been a total triumph. Now, under new management, The Crown has gone back to its roots with classic pub grub. Fair enough, we thought — how wrong could it go?
Well, first glance at the menu gave us a clue. “Lite bites” were thin on the ground — just three sandwich options: roast beef and horseradish cream, prawn mayo, or a cheese toastie. Not exactly spoilt for choice. Worse still, not a single salad in sight. Mrs Wanderer had her heart set on a chicken Caesar drowning in anchovies, but alas, dreams were dashed. No Salade Niçoise, no grilled halloumi — nada. Maybe they’re saving salads for Summer? We live in hope.
Still, being eternal optimists, Mrs W and I ordered the beef lasagne, thinking we’d chosen a lighter option. Big mistake. HUGE. What arrived was less a lasagne and more a beefy skyscraper, layered sky-high and molten hot. Absolutely delicious, to be fair, but subtle it was not. Mrs W surrendered halfway through and waved the white flag; I (perhaps foolishly) soldiered on and finished mine. The garlic bread on the side, sadly, was a let down — grey, anaemic, and bearing only the faintest rumour of ever having met a garlic clove. Oh well. You can’t win them all.
Tom ordered the Crown Double Cheeseburger, promising two all-steak patties and secret sauce goodness. The burger looked a bit shy for the description, but Tom wolfed it down in minutes and tackled the chunky fries like a champ. Watching him, I couldn’t help but wonder if that might’ve been the lighter option after all. Life’s full of regrets.
Tony, meanwhile, went rogue and ordered the pork and pink peppercorn pie — a bit of a tongue-twister, but at least the kitchen was happy to swap his mash for chunky chips. Tony declared it pulled pork-ish and very tasty. We’ll take his word for it.
As for me, by 8 PM, the lasagne was still sitting in my stomach like a concrete block. Light lunch, it was not.
In the end, we had a fun afternoon, even if the food left a few boxes unticked. A few more sandwich and salad options would have been very welcome. But hey — every place deserves a second shot. We’ll be back in Summer, clinging to the hope that a Caesar salad might finally make an appearance!
The Willoughton Wanderer 
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